I’m about as close to understanding relationships as I am at achieving my merit badge for herding cats.
I had an amazing Physics teacher in seventh grade. He printed out one million stars and taped them to the side our building. Each of us were in pairs and one student would go out and pick a star and then come back inside. The other student’s job was to pick the right star out of one million available stars. The premise was randomness and in hopes of steering us away from the ‘dangers of gambling.’ We lived in the ghetto so there was worse…stuff…than the lottery. After class I stared at the paper stars for almost an hour and tried to feel my intuition. Its not enough to know which star is right its like knowing the angle of her hand as she chose it and the unlimited other variables. In short, it’s like love’s magic which has been mused about for since, forever. I thought of my life at that moment and my path is one of these stars against a million other possibilities. So, I learned from then on that each interaction is important and has its own momentum. It had nothing to do with the lesson but just what I gathered from the paper stars.
One million is a nice round number isn’t it? Who’s to say its even a million when it could be more. The fact is that nothing will find you love unless you want to find it yourself. One answer in a million possiblities. Now, its like a forest in the trees sort of thing, right? There is a tribe in the north that if you are into a woman you bring your reindeer to her house and if she takes it in she’s into you. Their courtship is fluid and simple because it has a purpose. It’s not a million stars on a wall its ‘your deer is our deer now let’s go inside and eat chocolate.’
The fault is in the process and Americans are really spoiled to even have so many choices for a spouse. I was talking with one lady that had met and dated and ended three relationships in one month. She said there was just too many men. I told her well, I told her nothing I just walked away.
This doesn’t seem to be a recent shift because our hunger for everything has increased. The grip of Obesity does not happen overnight. Thats the dehumanizing effect of online dating. That there is a hundred thousand people online that want ME. I can throw you away like a condom wrapper and then go cry on social media that no one wants me. Slave owners were not wealthy because of money in the south their wealth came from slaves and with online dating we have let ourselves become a commodity, a slave. A few bits of demographic questions in Exobytes of data. Much like other social media, but just because we both like Netflix does not a great couple make. Its not a star or a primitive ritual of courtship but just an odd digital breeding ground. It takes social signals and creates this mashup of online profiles that resemble Super Bowl ads not real people. Its expected because like real life what’s good for the tribe is also good for the people so the vanity continues.
If it was less ignorant I’d have more happy things to say about it. So, where does the ignorance come from?
If love is a universal language then it would not matter which star I chose because all paths would be the same. I think that’s the problem because I can only change myself. There’s a fine line between projecting your needs and thoughtful communication. I think in finding relationships there are things we cannot do and things we can do. The perception of abundance goes away when we step away from the mirror and look at how empty our communication has become. These well worn paths paved with company logos have taken a shorthand to actually connecting with someone.
I’m going to get back to work on herding cats as it shows more promise.